Category Archives: Jealousies

A Journey From Being Alone To Alone

Should one fear being alone?

One is born alone. In the dark cave of  the womb starts the journey of being alone. One is alone as infant before its socialising starts. The smiles, crying, pranks they all become a medium to attract others. Listening, differentiating repeated sounds from a medley of sounds, making sounds, liking of sounds by others, forming relationships of sounds with objects and finally through, repetition, response and reward starts the learning of language. Language leads to verbal and written communication  – an instrument of socialising.

Becoming social has its own rewards and punishment. You are not only to be social but you need to be accepted, recognised, LIKED ( People count and hanker for likes of Facebook and Twitter).

The struggle of recognition gradually tinkers on the innocence that came from the womb. The need of acceptance and recognition brings the feelings of insecurity. The perpetual want of position and recognition, changes the innocent baby to a human being  who is diplomatic, jealous and capable of telling lies. Besides desire of being recognised, now there are so many more things on the mind – money, power, sensual cravings and social responsibilities. One forgets how to be alone. Even when one is alone, mind is harping on the thoughts of, praise and blame, merit and demerit generated out of the ego and the personal perception, coloured with ones social and circumstantial conditioning. In the every day humdrum, you are hurt, angered, dislike something, ambitions are thwarted, all these create a web of thoughts that entangle you day and night. Thus you are never alone.

Mundaka Upanishad - Two Birds story
Mundaka Upanishad -Two birds on the same tree one eating bitter and sweet fruits other calmly sitting.

And life goes on as the story of two birds on a tree, in Mundaka Upanishad,(third Mundaka,first section,)‘dvā suparṇā sayujā’ one bird jumps from branch to branch eating the bitter and sweet fruits but the other simply looks on without eating, sitting on the top branch. While eating bitter and sweet fruits, when the fruit is bitter, it looks up, at the other bird sitting calmly, and again goes back to flying from one branch to the other tasting bitter and sweet fruits. But then sometimes the fruit is too bitter, an irrevocable loss that drowns one in sorrow, then it looks up again at the calm, luminous, golden bird and  slowly starts going up towards it. Both exist together as the reflection and the original and finally  the first bird merges into the Luminous one and realises there is no second one it is one only, the self.

It is one only.

Proper knowledge is equal vision, or perception of the one Atman in all. It is a journey from alone back to the self alone, which exists in all.
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Learn to Love yourself.

A baby is born with no feelings of imperfection. He/she gives a smile to all who are showing love to it. It does not hate. It makes its choices, sticks to them. AND SLEEPS PEACEFULLY. He/She was sleeping like a baby we say. But slowly we lose the capacity of sleeping like a baby. Based on the messages we get, Accept and Give ourselves, we create beliefs and thoughts – thoughts about ourselves and others. Just as a cricket endlessly chatters in the absolute silence of a jungle, we create a noise in ourselves of likes, dislikes, insinuations, imperfections, jealousies, wants, fulfilled and unfulfilled desires. This noise is of our thoughts.

Thoughts that will create actions. Actions that will create reactions – desirable and undesirable.  And that will become life, pleasant or unpleasant.
Two things are very clear. We must learn to give a pause between action and reaction. Secondly, before being critical about anyone ask ourselves, what is the reality, reality that I see and reality of the other person? Trust me if we will start seeing the reality of the other person we will be able to forgive others very easily. Did I say forgive?  No, forgiving is also a form of ego.  Who are we to forgive others?

 We will be able to accept others whole heartedly, if we are able to perceive their reality.

Ask yourself am I finding the person or the situation wrong because of my own ego, or I have a genuine concern. Am I making a noise or whistle blowing out of hatred and jealousy? What is the percentage and proportion of the two elements? Tap the door of your mind, and ask are my thoughts and reactions born of ego and personal fanaticism. If so I need to look at them again and drop them. This will help to understand the situation. Live better, love yourself and love others.